Great Golf Jokes

Away from all the usual news and updates, here are three of my favourite golf jokes! There are plenty out there so let me know if you’ve got a funnier one 🙂

A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short
par-3 the priest asks, “What are you going to use on this
hole, my son?”

The young man says, “An 8-iron, father. How about you?” The
priest says, “I’m going to hit a soft seven and pray.”

The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the
green. The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out
a few yards.

The young man says, “I don’t know about you, father, but in
my church, when we pray, we keep our head down.”


A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she
collapses from a heart attack!

“Help me dear,” she groans to her husband.

The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few
minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt. His wife
raises her head off the green and stares at him.

“I’m dying here and you’re putting?”

“Don’t worry dear,” says the husband calmly, “they found a
doctor on the second hole and he’s coming to help you.

“Well, how long will it take for him to get here?” she asks

“No time at all,” says her husband. “Everybody’s already
agreed to let him play through.”


Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a
bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective
asks, “Ma’am, is that your husband?”

“Yes” says the woman.

“Did you hit him with that golf club?”

“Yes, yes, I did.” The woman begins to sob, drops the club,
and puts her hands on her face.

“How many times did you hit him?”

“I don’t know — five, six, maybe seven times…..just put
me down for a five.”


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